Life is a journey. This a very cliché & popular quote that I've come across many times. I bet you have too right? This is normally parroted by your woke friend or the stereotypical woke character on a tv show or film. Followed by loads of obvious metaphors referencing long roads & speed bumps & signposts. Don't worry this blog won't have any of that stuff. I'm going to riff & see what falls out of me with the aim of discovering that burning question on everyone’s mind... what is life about, the journey or the destination?
MAKING IT
What comes to mind when you think about what your idea of "making it" to your destination is or was? Ok, scrap what I said earlier, avoiding using journey tropes is going to be harder than I thought. I'm more basic than I thought I was, so expect some journey metaphors.
My first idea of "making it" was getting to college. Then it was getting to university. Then it was graduating & getting to London to work in architecture. Now that I think about it, I must have been conditioned to think like this from a young age. This destination mentality was instilled in me by society, family & TV. I remember uncles & aunties imploring me to "stay in school" at every opportunity when I was younger. Kids TV shows definitely broadcast the same message as well. Then the education system further re-enforced this idea. School life is like being on a conveyor belt, mindlessly going through the school years. Starting at nursery, then going to year 1, then 2 etc. until you get to high school. Then university. Then work life.
I'm at the work-life stage now. Where I thought I always wanted to be growing up. Doing what I thought I always wanted to do. Architecture stuff. Providing necessary shelter for people to ease this supposed housing shortage. Whilst also shaping the landscape for future generations at the same time. I don't feel any different from how I always felt though. "Making it" changed nothing. In fact, the struggle of getting here was way more fun.
Getting to my stop only makes me want to get to another stop so I can embark on another adventure. I failed to think about why I viewed getting to work-life stage as such an important milestone. I also failed to think about what I wanted to do after I got there. Am I just going to do this same 9-5 routine for the rest of my life now? There's nothing wrong with that if that was the case, but it wouldn't fill the void I've spent my whole life thus far trying to fill.
If your life aim was to run a marathon, what are you going to do after you reach that feat? Carry on running marathons forever? Would that really satisfy your hunger for success?
YOU NEVER MAKE IT
Accomplishments will prove to be a journey, not a destination. - Dwight D. Eisenhower
What I'm starting to come to terms with now is that you will never make it. Whatever your idea of making it is in your head... That place you think you need to get to, to be happy. When you get there, you will realise it doesn’t exist. It's easy to look at other people's Instagram accounts & think they've made it. People only show their best life on there. Of course, they'll have loads of cool stuff like a big house & massive cacti's & a pet penguin but is that really MAKING IT?
I don't think it is.
In our heads, we have this idea of what a perfect life looks like. We also make checklists consisting of things we need to do & attain to get there. At the end of the day, no one's life is perfect no matter how much stuff they have, or how perfect it seems. & neither are they. We’re all flawed. We all mess up, we all fail. We actually need to constantly work every day to try and avoid these things happening. We're humans, humans are not perfect by nature. You might think these people have accomplished all their goals, but they’ve still got to wake up tomorrow and live their life. & a life without goals & things to aim for is a life without hope & meaning.
Not everyone will understand your journey. That's okay. You're here to live your life, not to make everyone understand. - Banksy
This destination mentality I was infected with as a child by the system of schooling is a myth. That success I've been searching for isn't arriving because there'll always be another target. Another promotion, another pay rise, another project, until I retire. & this magical period of my life, when I'll be growing more & more impotent. More & more devoid of energy, is the moment I thought I was supposed to truly do all the things I wanted to. Things like open a broccoli restaurant. Paint more. Learn to tap dance. Why am I saving all this fun stuff I want to do until I'm old & washed? How did this make any sense to me? I'm not saying old people can't do anything or your life ends at 60. Why wait until then? That’s all I’m all saying. Plus, assuming you're going to live that long is massively tempting fate. I was living life completely backwards. I should be doing the fun stuff I care about now, because who's to say me or any of us will live to old age. All we have is the present & we should make the most of it.
LIFE IS A FEELING PROCESS
What makes this destination mentality even more problematic (yes the destination mentality rant continues) is how we define success. Success isn't a place you get to. It's not a finish line or a series of checkmarks. Success is a feeling. It's a feeling we all get from contribution & serving others. Like passion is a feeling you get when you do things that you would do for free. Just for the pure joy of it without feeling the need to get paid for it. In summary, life is a feeling process. Do things you're passionate about & you will feel successful.
When you play a song, it isn't to get to the end of it, is it? If it was, you'd skip to the end. You listen to it to enjoy it, feel it, let it consume you. This is the kind of energy & mentality I'm currently running with when it comes to life. We should live life to enjoy it. To feel success, feel passion, feel happiness. Don't get me wrong it’s good to set goals. It's good to have aims & aspirations. It's not good to put intense emphasis on them. Thinking that you will achieve ultimate satisfaction when you reach those objectives. Success is something you've constantly got to work towards through your passions. I found this out 27 years into my life. Hopefully, this blog will save you some time.