The General Consensus: Money brings freedom which brings happiness.
The Reality: External changes (money) doesn't really bring about any lasting internal changes (happiness)
Translation: Chasing money; women, a six-pack, fame, or any other superficial entity in search of happiness will only end in failure. Assuming you seek long term happiness that is. This is because external validation only brings fleeting happiness. To gain long term happiness you must look inward for validation. Let me explain...
A couple of wise men who go by the names of P.diddy & Biggie once rapped "the more money you come across the more problems you see" for a reason. And people who have all the fame & fortune in the world still suffer from depression, & commit suicide for a reason.
The reason in question could be down to the hedonistic treadmill effect.
Hedonic Treadmill Definition: The tendency of a person to remain at a consistent level of happiness despite a change in fortune or the achievement of major goals.
For example, as a person makes more money, their expectations & desires rise in tandem. As a result, the rise in income may affect happiness initially. But it will not bring any permanent gain in happiness. I've experienced this every time I’ve been blessed with a pay rise or some sort of financial upturn. At first, I'd be made up. But after buying a few things & still not having that void filled, you realise you're fighting a losing battle. Attempting to find fulfilment via these means is essentially like rotating squares in Tetris. It's futile.
There is a general baseline level of happiness that we all experience over our lifetimes. Regardless of any temporary changes in the level of positive or negative life events. If we were to give this level a numerical value most people would sit between a 5-7 out of 10 on the happiness scale. The theory argues that although events & environmental factors can affect happiness in the short term, people will always naturally regress back to their hedonic set point in the long term.
What does this all mean?
Well, basically happiness is a scam, it doesn't exist. Stop chasing it & focus your energy on something more productive. I'd suggest watching cute penguin videos on YouTube. I guarantee it will bring you way more fulfilment in the long run than other peoples validation.
Ok, there may be more productive things you could do than watch penguin videos. And happiness isn't a total scam, but it is overrated. We build happiness up to be this permanent state of mind you achieve once you've accomplished X, Y & Z but it's not. It's a form of pleasure & we can experience it from doing many things.
We all have this tendency to strive for pleasure when we should be striving for meaning. Pleasure is the much easier option to attain. This is because it only brings about short term satisfaction. Meaning, on the other hand, which brings long term satisfaction is much harder to gain. You have to do some work to find out what you truly care about. This is why people avoid aspiring for the latter. Figuring out what you care about is hard. If you think you know the things that bring you genuine fulfilment ask yourself this question. Is that thing something YOU care about or is it something you only care about because of external influences?
I used to think I cared about fashion & looking cool. I'd constantly be updating my wardrobe & checking out what the latest trends were. It was exhausting. There’re constantly new trends & new collections based on the season to keep track of. Naturally, as I got older & lazier, I questioned this thought. I came to the conclusion that I was only interested in fashion so other people thought I was cool. Social conditioning also played a part in this. People would always describe me as cool & without realising I ended up subconsciously trying to justify this label. Now I only predominantly wear LOLA jumpers, hoodies & tees because I genuinely care about what it stands for. I genuinely like the clothes. And most importantly I like being comfortable. I'm 28 years old & kind of washed up now. Comfort is everything.
Chasing Meaning
Pleasure is essentially instant gratification. It is something that we're getting more & more addicted to as a society because there are so many ways to attain it now. Eating a sugary snack. Getting a like, all of the many other means of acquiring validation on whatever social media site you're part of. Buying something online. The ways in which we can achieve pleasure are practically endless. Yet, it comes via external forms, so once we get it we have no control over how long it lasts, and it never lasts long.
If you want to strive for meaning then discovering what you value is the first step. This takes introspection & experimentation. You will need to test the things you think you value by trying to implement them into your life. It's a trial & error process. When you know what you value, then it’s just a matter of making time for it.
If you value writing, start writing every day, even if it’s only 1 line.
If you value your health, start exercising every day even if it's only 60 seconds, 5 push-ups or 1 sit up. We all have to start at where we're at.
If you value photography start taking pictures & sharing them. You could even start an Instagram page dedicated to penguins, I'm sure there'd be a huge audience for that. I promise I'm not saying that because they're my favourite animal.
Just starting is the hardest part, once you start you find the momentum to see things through.
I'm currently leaning into a healthy obsession with gymnastics & callisthenics training. I developed a passion for it after coming to the conclusion that longevity was important to me. I want to die young, but as old as possible. This realisation came to me whilst I was bonding with my 2-year-old nephew over Christmas. We were playing this really fun game. The premise of game: I let him throw a ball in my face until he gets bored. The joy it brought him if only for a few minutes was priceless. I want to share as many moments like that as possible with the people I care about. And not just the people in my life now but also in the future. My potential kids, & their kids & their kid's kids. To do that I need to live for as long as possible. That involves eating well & moving well. To play with my great-grandkids I need to be able to squat, & bend over & pick them up if they run towards me. Long story short I need to be mobile & the most mobile people are gymnasts.
Practising this type of training daily has given my life added meaning. I may not look as cool as I used to, but I feel the best I've ever felt. Prioritising your health is a sure way of bringing about lasting internal change. A healthy body & mind makes you feel good & when you feel good you want others to feel good. I've also found it so easy to make time for mobility training. I do it at least 4 days a week now. We all make time for the things that we care about, whether it's Netflix or a new training programme. It's different for everyone, discover the thing/things you care about. Not having enough time is not a valid excuse to use for not doing things that bring a sense of fulfilment to your life. There are 24 hours in a day. If you tracked every minute of it, you'd realise that you could always find pockets of time to dedicate to doing things that bring true lasting value to your life.
It's never too late to jump off of the hedonic treadmill & start chasing goals that will permanently improve your baseline happiness.