Life Is a Story: The Outlaw’s Journey
I stood on the train platform, staring at the tracks.
It was a cold, dark night, and I’d just finished working another late night at a job I hated.
The thought of doing this for the rest of my life made me want to jump.
I’m being dramatic, but in that moment, I felt trapped, alone, and completely powerless.
But that moment also changed my life; it was the wake-up call I needed.
I realised I was living in a story that wasn’t going to end well, a story written by society, not by me.
And if I didn’t change it, I’d get to the end of my life having to deal with the pain of regret that I could've become more.
Since the day I walked away from the school gates, the main theme of my story has always been freedom.
Whether I knew it or not, this has always been the game I was playing.
There are a lot of game-like qualities to life, but I’ve noticed that the way we experience it is through story.
When it’s all said and done, this is the only thing you’ll leave behind.
And the way you win is by leaving behind a story worth telling.
So, what’s your story going to be?
Are you living a life that’s true to who you are, or are you following someone else’s script?
This is your moment to decide.
The Boy Without a Compass
My story started in England, where I was born while my father was on the other side of the world, fighting for his country’s independence.
When I was still a baby, we moved to Angola to be with him.
To try and be a family, but the escalating civil war forced us back to England, whilst my dad stayed behind to do liberation activities...
As a child I had no idea why he wasn’t around though.
All I knew was that I was now living in a small town where no one looked like me.
I always felt out of place.
No father figure, no role model to guide me.
No one to teach me how to ride a bike, no one to come to my football matches, no one to help me develop masculine traits.
I used to wonder why all the other kids had two parents while I only had one.
The confusion and resentment built up inside me as I struggled to establish who I was or where I belonged.
What I didn’t realise at the time was that I was living with what I now call “the unfathered mind.”
It’s a silent inheritance, passed down not through wisdom, but through absence.
Without a grounded masculine presence to initiate you into adulthood, you end up being raised by the world instead.
And the world, with all its noise, exploitation, and shallow values, becomes your surrogate father.
The unfathered mind is capitalism’s favourite customer, hungry for meaning, easy to monetise.
It's vulnerable to every form of manipulation, advertising, peer pressure, cultural norms because it never developed the inner compass that tells it who it is.
You end up taking on identities instead of forging one.
And because society doesn’t teach you how to build self-worth from within, you learn to chase validation from without.
But one thing I knew for sure: I wasn’t like everyone else.
The world around me told me to fit in, follow the rules, and be a sheep in the herd.
But deep down, I knew I was different.
I saw the world differently.
I didn’t respect the status quo, but everyone around me did, so I stayed quiet.
I observed and went with the flow, trying to understand why I craved freedom so deeply while the majority desired conformity.
When You Feel Like Giving Up
Fast forward to my early twenties.
I was working in architecture, designing buildings, climbing the ladder, and checking all the boxes society told me would lead to success.
But inside, I felt empty.
I was staying late every night, working harder than anyone else.
"If you want to get anywhere in life you're gna have to work harder then everyone else"
This is what they tell people starting from the bottom.
But there was no reward or recognition coming my way.
Things weren’t adding up.
To make matters worse, I was living with an alcoholic and a guy who had just gotten out of prison.
When broken prison guy wasn’t starting fights with us, he was fighting his demons, punching his walls in anger in the middle of the night. It was chaos.
For years, I tried to play society’s game.
I wore the sheep’s clothing, expecting that if I followed the script long enough, I’d eventually feel like I belonged.
But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t silence the part of me that knew there was more to life.
This internal conflict created a void.
I tried to fill it with distractions, chasing vices, women and empty victories.
But the more I tried to be who society told me to be, the emptier I felt.
Then, I hit rock bottom.
Standing on that platform, I remember staring at the tracks, the thought of jumping in front of the train flickering in my mind.
It wasn’t a plan, I didn’t jump, I know life isn’t that deep.
But the fact that the thought even flickered in my mind? That scared me more than the darkness ever could.
I had always thought my father’s death and the abandonment issues that came with a fatherless childhood would be my biggest obstacles.
But this, this feeling of being trapped in a life I hated and didn’t understand was worse.
I was drowning in the noise, the endless chase for some hollow version of "success" that left me emptier every time I caught it.
Then, one night, I stumbled on an old Oprah podcast (who else do you turn to in your time of need?).
Maya Angelou was a guest, I'd never heard of her before, but her voice cut through the static like a blade.
She spoke about her life, rape, poverty, silence, and how she clawed her way back to her own voice. Then she recited the lines that would haunt me:
"The caged bird sings of freedom."
Not because it’s free. Because it remembers what freedom tastes like.
I played that line over and over in my head like a song on repeat.
The bird was me.
Society’s cage wasn’t just the 9-to-5, the mortgage, the "right way to live." It was the lies I’d swallowed about what freedom even was.
I’d been screaming for an exit, but the real prison wasn’t out there.
It was in the way I thought.
The way I believed money would save me.
The way I looked at the world for guidance.
The way I’d handed the keys to my mind to my ego, trends, and the algorithm.
That’s when I realised:
Freedom isn’t something you find.
It’s something you build.
Not with cash, not with status, but with the undeniable belief that you are already whole.
The bird didn’t break the bars. It sang until its song became the key.
And I?
I stopped waiting for someone to open the door.
The Lone Wolf Revelation
"Everyone's following, but where are they being led?"
I knew for sure now I wasn’t meant to follow the herd.
Society didn’t have the answers.
The path to freedom through external achievements was a dead end.
I had played that game, and it didn’t work.
It was time to play a different game.
And looking back now, I can see why it failed me:
Society became my father.
Not through love, but through programming.
It told me who to be. What to chase. What to fear. What to desire.
But it never taught me how to be me.
That’s the trap of the unfathered mind; it seeks validation but never finds identity.
It craves manhood, but has no map to get there.
So it overcompensates, becoming hyper-successful or totally self-destructive, just to feel like something.
That’s why the internal game is everything.
It’s not just about changing your habits, it’s about reclaiming the throne of your own mind.
A Life of Two Games
Here’s the truth: Life falls into two games, an external game and an internal game.
Most people spend their lives playing the external game, chasing money, status, and possessions, believing these things will bring them freedom and happiness.
But they’re missing the point.
We don’t ever want the thing itself, we only want the feeling we think it will give us.
- You don’t want the fancy car; you want the feeling of status and respect you think it promises.
- You don’t want the high-paying job; you want the feeling of security and accomplishment it represents.
- You don’t want the perfect relationship; you want the feeling of love and connection it provides.
But here’s the problem: external solutions can’t solve internal problems.
Material things are just symbols, and symbols are empty unless you fill them with meaning.
But the meaning you give something outside of yourself will never scratch the internal itch.
Chasing external rewards is like trying to fill a bottomless pit, it will never be enough.
The real game is internal. It’s about mastering your mind, emotions, and beliefs so you can create the feelings you crave from within.
When you play the inside out, you no longer need the outside world to feel worthy, confident, or free.
You become the source of your own power, but this isn’t profitable, is it?
The Choice
-
The External Game (Playing outside in):
- Society’s game. It’s about chasing money, status, and possessions.
- The rules are designed to keep you small, docile, and dependent.
- The prize is an illusion, external rewards can’t give you lasting fulfilment.
-
The Internal Game (Playing inside out):
- Your game. It’s about mastering your mind, emotions, and beliefs.
- The rules are yours to write.
- The prize is real freedom, confidence, and authenticity.
You can keep playing the external game, chasing symbols and hoping they’ll fill the void.
Or you can start playing the internal game, where true freedom and fulfilment are found. Mastering yourself so you master the world as a byproduct.
"Anything that externalises your power is trying to exploit you. Anything that internalises your power is trying to empower you."
- Externalising Power: Society is a business; it wants you to believe that your worth comes from external sources, your job, your possessions, your social status. But these things are fleeting. They can be taken away in an instant, leaving you feeling empty and powerless.
- Internalising Power: True power comes from within. It’s about knowing who you are, what you stand for, and what you’re capable of. When you internalise your power, you no longer need validation from anything outside of yourself. This is when you become the architect of your story.
The Turning Point
Instead of chasing external achievements, I started pursuing internal ones.
I became obsessed with self-mastery.
I sought out mentors, devoured books, podcasts, and documentaries, and spent thousands of hours reconstructing myself physically, mentally, and spiritually.
Through this journey, I realised something crucial: school teaches us how to read, write, and memorise information to pass its tests, but it doesn’t teach us how to pass life’s tests.
It doesn’t teach us how to design and construct the life we truly want to live from the inside out.
Through trial and error, I identified the key principles of self-mastery, mindset, habits, and conviction, and combined them with the strategy and precision of an architect’s approach to create a system called Self-Architecture.
Just as a building needs a strong foundation and precise planning to stand tall, so does the life you want to create.
I was living life by default, but it was time to start living by design.
The Transformation
Over the next five years, I transformed my life.
I landed a new job at an architectural firm that valued me.
I started a clothing brand on the side, which not only brought in extra income but also reignited my passion for creating.
I got into the best physical and mental shape of my life, bulking up over 10 kilos and gaining clarity through daily workouts, journaling and meditation.
And for all the people who have no idea how to eat healthy because of all the conflicting diet advice, I feel you.
I had to try all of the nonsense diets to finally master how to fuel my body properly.
But none of this was by chance. It was by design.
Through Self-Architecture, I didn't just "become a better man", I engineered internal freedom, not by escaping the system, but by rewiring my mind.
Freedom is mental sovereignty, the ability to choose your thoughts, emotions, and actions regardless of external circumstances.
I designed a life that aligned with my values and passions, and through hard work, consistency, and patience, it became my reality.
The Mission
Now, I’m on a mission to help other men do the same.
If you’re feeling stuck, trapped, or disconnected from your true self, know this: you don’t have to stay that way.
You’re not trapped by your circumstances. You’re trapped by your mind.
You have the power to break free and design a life that’s true to who you are.
But it starts with a decision: do you want your life story to look like everyone else's in society, the scarcity, illness and regret, or do you want something different?
Do you want to start becoming the man you were always meant to be?
I’m not speaking from theory.
This is personal for me.
I lived the story most men are stuck in, and I rewrote it from the inside out.
I went through the storm of the unfathered mind, battled the confusion, the false identities, and the lies sold to men about success and masculinity.
I battled the voices that told me I wasn’t enough.
I understand the feeling of hopelessness, not belonging and searching for answers in a confusing world.
I know what it's like to live in a state of quiet desperation, not feeling healthy, waking up and feeling anxious.
I made the mistakes.
But I also found the way out.
And through that, I discovered something powerful:
You don’t have to stay unfathered forever.
You can father yourself.
You can become the man you never had.
You can design your life by intention, not inheritance.
That’s what Self-Architecture is all about. And now, I’m handing you the blueprint.
This is your initiation.
Not into some secret society, but into your true self.
Into manhood.
Into mastery.
This is where you become the architect of your story.
The Call to Action
Living life on autopilot isn’t harmless. I’ve seen it destroy souls.
The regret of a life unlived is the heaviest weight a man can carry.
But know this: what you’re not changing, you’re choosing.
If you’ve got things in your life you hate, your health, your job, your relationships, and you’re not changing them, you’re choosing them.
This is your opportunity to choose change.
True freedom isn’t given; it’s created.
And no one but YOU is responsible for your life.
If you’re ready to start taking your life seriously, start here: The Pursuit of Lawless
It breaks down the core concepts I needed to understand about life before I could take control of it.
This is your first step toward freedom, authenticity, and self-mastery.
Always remember, you were born to be the architect of your story.
Free your outlaw.